I learned a valuable lesson recently about the receiving side of a gift that I had never given much thought. Having been a professional fundraiser most of my life, either as a volunteer or employee, the
majority of my interactions has been on the donor side rather than being involved with those receiving the gifts. My appreciation for those receiving a gift happened last summer late one afternoon on the
Outer Banks of North Carolina. While driving down the beach road after a thunderstorm, I noticed a gentleman on the side of the road pushing a bicycle. He had on a clear plastic raincoat and tied to his bike were multiple white plastic bags. As we passed by him, I asked my daughter if she knew who he
was. She said he was one of the homeless that lives in a grove of trees on the sound side of the island.
We quickly decided to give him some money so he could get a hot meal. As I turned around and pulled up beside him,we could see that he was soaked by the recent storm. When I got out and approached him, he appeared to be in his mid 60's with long gray hair and a well trimmed beard. He had a very rugged distinguished look just like I would picture Ernest Hemingway. As I went to say hello, I mentioned that he looked like he was caught in the rain storm and I would like to give him $20 to get a
hot meal. I held out the bill and he said he could really use it but he could not just take the money. However, he explained that he would be willing to make a trade. I said "OK" and he began to go
through all of the bags tied to his bike. He kept saying over and over, "I have something
in here I know that is worth $20.”

I must admit I began to get a little nervous and mentioned a number of times that I didn't need to trade for anything, that the money was just a gift. Finally, in one of the bags tied to his front wheel, he pulled out a small rusty socket belonging to a socket wrench. He said he found it the day before and he thought it was worth at least $20. I quickly agreed and we exchanged the items. He then shook my hand and we said our goodbyes. When I got back in the car and paused, I had chills as I realized what I had just experienced. I began to see much more  clearly that someone receiving help does not necessarily want to be on the receiving end or to be in the situation that put them there, they are very proud people. I liken this to our residents who receive benevolent care assistance. They never expected to be in the position to need the help and are themselves very proud individuals who have worked their
entire lives but for unforeseen reasons are now given no choice but to accept help. The economic times  e have experienced in the past few years has greatly expanded the number of residents needing this assistance.The experience I just shared with you moved me to a higher level of appreciation and understanding. There is no doubt that giving does make a difference in so many ways making a better life for so many. Since that day, I have thought about this encounter with my "Ernest Hemingway" many times and somehow feel as time passes, I will learn even more from this one experience. Hopefully the holiday season will inspire us all to find ways to help others who for some reason have found themselves
needing assistance.

Have you ever been happily going along in life and gotten broad-sided by an unexpected setback or tragedy?  Or have you keenly anticipated something in your future - graduation, marriage, the birth of a baby, retirement - and found yourself struggling in new, uncharted waters?  Of course you have, we all have.  These fall under the heading of what my mother called “That’s life!”